Neediness is not a bad thing.
But that's our biggest fear, isn't it? Being needy? Our culture certainly tells us that neediness is a bad thing. Our culture tells us to be independent and not dependent. Well. My personal and clinical foundation says the exact opposite.
We become our most creative, passionate, thriving selves when we're effectively dependent on others.
Whether it's friendships, family relationships, or our significant other, we are needy for relationships. In fact, we're wired to be needy. We need. We need connection, emotional support, and to be deeply heard and understood. We long. We long to be vulnerable, to feel safe and secure in our relationships.
We don't need too much. We need just the right amount.
It's when our connection needs are not met that we start to feel disconnected in our relationships. We start feeling that our friends aren't hearing us. We start feeling alone when we're with our significant other. We start having the same arguments over and over...and over. We fall into painful, gut-wrenching, relentless cycles that we can't seem to claw our way out of. And, we even start feeling less like ourselves. Less motivated, lower energy, less creative, less passionate about the things we usually love.
In our work together - whether through individual or couples counseling - we'll look at the places where you've become disconnected in your relationships. We'll explore how your needs can be fulfilled so that instead of experiencing constant, crushing distance, you can begin feeling safe, loved, heard, and cared for.
And because we feel safely connected in our relationships, we start feeling more like ourselves, too.